4/28/06
So I'm sitting in a Starbucks waiting for my car to be fixed...I hope it's nothing. My car's great, but I've had it for 9 years, if there's something seriously (translation: expensive) wrong with my car, then I'm just going to get a new one. So anyway, I was just next door having a bagel (oh the Jew) and as I left to come to the 'Bucks, there was a homeless guy who literally threw up right in front of me. And I just walked around him and came in here. Now there are two things that are bothering me: ONE-The sound of making a espresso is the same sound that vomit makes as it hits the ground. So I'm paranoid that people are throwing up all around me. TWO-I feel kinda like a shit for not even asking the guy, "hey, you ok?" I know, I know, it's not really any of my business, but he's still a person. He deserves some kind of concern, doesn't he? And yet here I am feeling bad about it instead of going to ask him...hold on. OK, just checked, he's gone...but the "leftovers" are still there. Man, I'm such an "LA person", feeling bad about something but not doing anything at the time. FUck, what's going on in our society? I always like to consider myself a compassionate person, and I think I am...but only towards people I know or am someway associated with: Friend of a friend, hell...someone I might've just met; just someone who I'm already familiar with. But when it comes to complete strangers, I tend to turn a blind eye. I think the majority of the people out there do the same thing. Even if we don't think we do, or wish we don't...we do. And here's what's really sad...I don't know if I can change. I think it stems from when I was younger and I was always told "don't talk to strangers", but then when you get older you're told "lend a hand to your fellow man". Well, aren't you fellow men strangers? Which one is it? I dunno...Well, I'm off to check my car.

4/22/06
So it's Saturday night and I'm sitting here at my computer...why? I decided to take a night off from gigging and hanging at the Improv. So what am I doing with my new found freedom?...that's right kiddies...DUBBING! I swear to god I'm obsessed with this shit. I had already finished VHS and High 8, so I moved onto DV. I'm digitizing digital video!!! But I'm not doing all of my DV tapes, only the ones with home movies and stand up. I have a lot with footage from the Skippy show and "Flippin' Through The Channels", I don't think I need to save that stuff considering I have the finished projects on DVDs already. It's so weird, for the first few months I was running around; so busy. Now...well, now it all stopped so abruptly. And for a little while I was like, "Thank god, I need a break", now I'm salivating for some business. I did a gig a couple days ago and something really weird happened. Well, not weird, but I made a very rookie mistake. The crowd was a bit quiet and kinda reserved...well, not reserved, but they didn't seem like they wanted to laugh. Not because none of the comics were funny, but because they just didn't want to. Almost like they were trying not to. So, I went into my crowd work and I was getting them. Well I asked one guy what his name is and he told me and then capped it by saying "dude". Very innocent and I'm sure he was just trying to be funny and friendly, well for some reason I immediately went on the offensive and gave him a heckler line...but it was NOT warranted. As I was going into it I knew it was a mistake, but I couldn't stop. I was already committed to it. And when it was all done, he looked at me like, "What the fuck was that?" And I apologized...and the show just never reached that high that I know it could've. After the show I apologized again to the guy but I could tell he didn't want to talk to me...and I don't blame him. After the show I was sitting at a table and I noticed him leaving and flipping me off (he didn't think I saw him) and I just smiled and thought to myself, "Yup, I would've done the same thing". I mean seriously, I've been doing this long enough to know how to handle a crowd, but I really need to remember how to handle myself on stage. Wow, sounds like a break through moment in group therapy...not that I've ever been to therapy. Actually I did for a very short amount of time when I was like 14. Wow, here's a weird memory. When I was younger, I was very, very shy. (Shocker, I know) And this one time I was invited to go to this meeting for USY, a Jewish youth group. Well, my dad took me and when we pulled up we had gotten there late, and I was too embarrassed to walk into a place I've never been. I could see all these faces turn and wonder who this little geek was walking into their meeting. So I just yelled at my dad, "Forget it, take me home! I want to go home!" My dad took me home and starting in with "You've gotta go...you can't be scared." And I just ran out of house crying. I remember him chasing me saying, "We'll get you help". Well, we went to this family therapist that worked for the school system and I think I went like once or twice to be honest, but I'll tell ya what made me stop going. I distinctly remember this: I said something along the lines of "I'm afraid people won't like me" and she said, "Well, maybe you should change." And I just thought, "What the fuck? Why should I change?" And I felt she was not helping me. So then the next week I went back to the meeting and the guy who invited me was outside and he said, "Hey Flip, come on in." He brought me in to the meeting and I was in that youth group for 3 years...and I met my first girlfriend in that group too. And to be honest, USY helped make me into the man/comic I am today. I really owe a lot to them. so to all the little bloggers reading this who are afraid to make an effort to meet people for fear of rejection...you're never gonna know if you don't try. (insert "ABC Afterschool music" here). Back to the dubbing, night.

4/16/06
Happy Easter my friends...and happy mid-Passover to my Hebros. Well, it's been a fun weekend, I did some shows in Brea with Pablo this weekend...and I am still digitizing videos. What a fucking project. I thought uploading my songs to my Ipod would be the most boring thing I could do...WRONG! The good news is that I finished all of the little High-8 tapes, now it's onto regular VHS tapes. Pinch me. I'm so anal about this shit, I seriously think I have a problem. I'm not kidding. Anyway, last night I brought back The Shark Bit and it worked 2 out of the 3 shows. And I know why. The whole novelty behind "The Shark Bit" is that I'm censoring my own cursing, but there's also the shock value of cursing so much. Well, the first two shows I didn't curse very much in my set, so when I got to the joke, it was funny not only because of the censoring, but also because I hadn't cursed as much. But on the third show, I brought out Little Skippy, and did a lot of Skippy jokes...which are filthy. So needless to say (then why say it?), when I got to the shark bit, it bombed. I actually stopped doing the joke because it had not been doing as good as it usually had. The reason, I think, was because I was cursing more and more. Not being a "dirty comic", but being more free on stage. Now I think I'm going to try and cut back a little and bring the shark bit back into my rotation. I was having fun with it last night, almost like rediscovering it. It was pretty cool. Anywho, I'm going back digitizing and cleaning. The fun never ends. Hope you find all the Easter Eggs!

4/12/06
I'm still digitizing the videos...I'm about halfway through...fuck! Why am I so anal about this shit? I could just leave the tapes, or I could just do like one a day, but nooooo, once I start something...once I get my mind set on something, I just have to finish it. So I've got like 26 old high eight tapes that I just have to get done as fast as possible. I'm on #13 now...and it's 12:30 in the morning. This will be the last one of today. Tomorrow I'm working in Brea, so I'll leave early to beat the traffic which means I'll only be able to get to one or two tapes...awww. I also have to go to the gym. Fuck this is a boring blog. Sorry. There is some excitment, but (alas), I can't talk about it...yet. Don't worry my blog-a-tears, soon I will reveal the big secret. Actually it's not that big, just confidential. Oh well. I'll tell you something interesting about watching all of these hours of my old stand up, I can really see just how I've evolved. Both with stage presence, persona and material. There are some jokes that I thought were so brilliant at the time that I don't do anymore. And others that I still use. Like "Talking to God", "Jewish Holidays" and "England". I guess those really stand the test of time. But then there was this bit called "The Gay Sperm" (all about how people are supposedly 'born gay', so this would be them gay as a sperm). This bit would always kill and I distinctly remember saying that I will be doing that joke forever. Well, 8 years later and I haven't done it in about 7 years. Oh my. Well, I think the tape is almost over, so let me get ready to turn all of this off. I hope that none of you are afflicted with this perfectionist/anal-retentive quality that I have. Night.

4/10/06
What a day...what a long, fucking, uneventful day. My life has slowed down considerably in the last week, so I've had time to catch up on a lot of boring projects, one of which is digitizing all of my old video tapes. Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to save all of this for posterity and whatnot, but mother fucker is this boring. It's 12:30 in the morning and I'm on tape 4 out of 28. I'm not going to do this all at once, figured I'll do 3-4 tapes a day, but the problem is they all record in real time...so I have to sit and watch all 2 hours of the footage. Why you ask? Because I have to keep track of what is on the disc, so I know where to look. That's called anal-retentive kids. I did however manage to get away for an hour or so and lose $20 at a poker game. I really suck at that. Anyway, this tape is almost done (it's of old stand up...yippie!) and then I think I'm going to crash. Life is good now my friends, keep those vibes coming. That big thing I was talking about before, well it didn't get quite as big as I'd hoped, but it's still pretty amazing. More to come later...I'm such a tease, I know. OK, time to finish watching me from 1999...fuck, what a trip.

4/4/06
I am exhausted, been so busy lately, can't get into it now, but trust me, it's work. Been feeling strange lately, can't quite explain why, maybe it'll come to me later, I dunno. Anywho, I'm sorry this is short, but trust me, when the dust has settled in my life, I will have ample time to go into it. Night all and positivity to all!

4/3/06
Hope you had a great April Fools Day. I have been bizay! I've been running around practicing my set for a showcase, it's exciting but at the same time, very tiring...and a bit boring. I don't know about other comics, but when I have a specific act to perfect, and I have to keep doing the same material in the same order the same way, I get stale. Anyway, it's early here and for some reason I've been up for awhile. I don't know why, but for the past few weeks I have been getting up early. I want to get to the gym today too, and I've got to leave here at 1:00 for an audition (wish me luck), so I've go to hit the gym before that. I've been pretty good with the gym lately, going everyday (except yesterday, where...coincidentally...I was feeling kinda sick) and feeling great. Anyway, hope all of you are doing well and hope that you're smiling. Oh, in case you don't already know, a clip from my "Live At Gotham" set is up on Comedy Central's website...check it out...oh shit, now I'm Angel Salazaar.