Anyway, I'm just saying hi cause I gotta get ready for my show in an hour.

One thing I'll say about Vegas right now...FUCKING HOT!!!

6/22/10
The traffic leading up to the terminal, the dragging of my bags to the check in counter, the paying of $60 for luggage charges, the $8.00 for a coffee & muffin...GOD I'VE MISSED THE AIRPORT!

I'm just about to board my flight to Vegas and begin my 6 week tour. I'm so excited about getting back on the road. I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be crying for LA but for now, I'm all ready to get back out there.

I am a bit tired due to my lack of sleep this morning. It's amazing, I think I'm actually hitting the age where I wake up early to pee and then can't fall back to sleep. Dear God, I am my father.

OK, boarding time. I'll try to continue this later.

6/17/10
OK, so I'm sitting at Starbucks, writing on my laptop while listening to the NBA finals online. I don't know if that makes me a jock or a douche. I'm not a sports fan at all, but you can't help but be sucked in to this, especially living in LA.

So I'm trying to motivate myself to write again. And I've decided to keep mining the Skippy thing. I've had an idea for a TV show with Skippy swimming around in my head for a little while and I'm finally going to do it. I have a buddy who I've worked with before and he's going to take some of the technical aspects.

Since the LCS airing, Skippy's been getting some online buzz and I've been getting a lot of emails. This one guy runs a site called Super Dude Power Squad and asked Skippy to write something for their site. They also put Skippy on their homepage. So here's what Skippy wrote:

"BP, BRITISH PETROLEUM OR BIGGEST PRICKS EVER!? (the E is silent)" by Skippy Greene How BP President, Tony Hayward, isn't literally going door to door in the Gulf coast offering blowjobs to the locals is beyond me. He is chairman of a company that is single handedly destorying our planet worse than SEX AND THE CITY 2. SCOOBY-DOO! And now BP is asking for tax money to help with the situation? I swear, his balls must be so big that they create sparks as they drag on the ground like the tailpipe of an old Chevy. You dumb, small minded, money loving mother fucker. This isn't something that is easily solved with an apology and a sham-wow. This is a mess of epic proportion. An estimated 60,000 barrels of oil are being gushed into the gulf everyday. It's like planet earth is gizzing all over our collective faces in some eco-porn; an "eporn", if you will. Except instead of white, protein filled glizz being shot out, it's black, tar soaked oil. I imagine that's what satan's cum looks like...or Dick Cheney's. MIGHTY ORBOTS! I feel like we are the generation that is witnessing the beginning of the end, not just enviromentally either, but economically as well. Because now that the gulf looks like the top layer of a chocolate shit cake, the fishermen can't make a living. So they're going to go on unemployment and welfare, and that will put a strain on the economy. And eventually we won't be able to borrow money from ourselves, so we'll have to start selling off pieces of the country to other nations, state by state. You might've lived in California, but now you're a citizen of New Japan. Your mom recides in New York? Uh-uh, she's in New India. Hey there North Dakota, hope you like hockey cause you're in New Canada. Yes, Canada owns part of us now! Shalom Tennesse...that's right, ya'll is New Isreal. The only state safe is New Mexico...cause they don't have to change shit. SMURFS! Actually, that was a trick one. Mexico owns Florida. Why? Cause that's where the oranges are. DARKWING DUCK! So what are we to do now? I'll tell you what we should do. Fuck it. Look, this ship we call humanity is going down faster than a slutty cheerleader on prom night. SILVERHAWKS! And not just with the oil spill but with war, poverty, spiraling economy, disease, Justin Beiber; it's becoming hell on earth. I can't imagine death being any worse. So I propose we just go down like Sodom and Gomorrah and party like it's 1999...er, 2010. The Mayans were right people, 2012 is just around the corner and we're well on our way to oblivion. I mean what's better? Praying that a solution arises that'll conviently save our ass in the last second like a Michael Bay movie, or just accept the obvious and smoke pot, blast our music, party with vuvuzela horns and fuck like rabbits...by that I mean fuck in holes that we dug in the ground. GUMMI BEARS! And just so you don't think I'm without optimisim, I do hope I'm wrong and that this species we call man will wise up and make some changes quick. I mean I don't want all of my illigitimate children to grow up without a father AND suffer a global catastrophy. But if I'm right, well, I'll see you at the orgy in the Staples Center. ...just my 2 cents. Love and kisses, Skippy Greene

Eh? Funny yet socially aware? Or just bullshit? Who knows. I liked it.

It's fun thinking of colorful analogies for Skippy.

Anyway, so I'm working on this and I guess we'll try to shoot it when I get back from my road tour.

Man, I'm really looking forward to going on the road. I really miss it...I think it keeps me balanced and healthy.

Just keeps me sane; makes me feel like I'm doing something creative. I mean that even though I'm writing in town and techinally "doing something creative", it still feels stilted in a way.

I also need changes of scenery. And I know that there are a lot of people who never leave their hometown and are fine with that. Well, I'm not like that, especially since I've been traveling for years. I can't just not do that and feel fine with it.

OK, it's getting really confusing trying to blog while listening to espn in my ear. "So I'm writing...FUCKING KOBE!!"

Talk to you later.

6/10/10
Much thanks to those who saw Skippy on LCS and sent nice emails. It's really been cool to have that recognition for the character. In case you didn't see it, here it is:

Not bad, huh? I mean yes, they didn't pass Skippy (which I pretty much expected going in) but they didn't show his as one of the "freaks" who auditioned and they did laugh, but said, "it's not right for this competition". Honest and kind; what more could you want?

I think it's safe to say though that I am the first (and as of now only) comic to appear on the show (and be featured) as two different people. So I've got that going for me...

It's weird though, I was expecting there to be good response to Skippy overall, but after looking online, it seems that the ones who wrote about the episode, mostly, had bad things to say about him. Don't get me wrong, there were a few nice things and quite a few folks emailed Skippy and facebooked him with friend requests. And I know that not everyone is going to like every kind of comedian. I came to that realization about myself years ago. I just figured with Skippy, most people wouldn't like him because he's offensive.

Then again, the clip really didn't showcase any of the real Skippy Greene. They showed the "buttons" (Scooby-Doo & Capt. Caveman) but not the material. The actual audition was about 2 minutes and then there was some good banter and an interview with Craig Robinson. So the general public did not see enough to truly judge. They just saw a guy saying cartoons. Oh well...

I've gotta stop thinking so negative. That's been a big problem for me lately. I'm just in a negative place and it's very hard to come out of it.

Isn't that weird? With all of the amazing things that have happened and continue to happen, I still get negative. I guess that's just the balance of everything. We need to get dark sometimes just so we appreciate the light even more. I don't think there's anything wrong with me for it, I just think that's the way it is sometimes.

Well, I'm at a Starbucks now doing some writing. I have an idea for a movie and I'm trying to push myself to write it. I haven't written a full script in a long time, and everytime I do I feel really good. I feel creative again and inspired, so I'm trying to do that now. Wish me luck. But I've gotta get going because I've got a show tonight and I need to get ready for it. So I'll say g'day mate.

...did I not mention I'm going Austrailian?

6/7/10
OK, so I'm sitting here at 6:30 PM PST waiting to hear from my parents on the east coast about Skippy's appearance on Last Comic Standing...and the show started an hour and a half ago. Which is worrying me. I'm worried that they haven't shown him yet...wait, Dad calling.

OK, Dad is telling me that they showed about 30 seconds of Skippy and it looked good. Whew...

Huh, Skippy already got 3 new friend requests. Well, until I see it (less than 3 hours), I'll still be curious to how it came out. But Dad said that they didn't make fun of Skippy and then didn't call me out as being Skippy. So that's cool.

Alright kids, let's get those good vibes a'flowing. I'm gonna start to obsess a little more.

6/6/10
Whew, what a nice day I had. Allison and I went bike riding around Burbank and N. Hollywood, then went to our friends pool for a little dip. Even though most of my days are lazy now, it's nice to have an active yet lazy day.

So I'm all nervous about Skippy's appearance on LCS tomorrow. I know that it's only going to be brief, but still, who knows what might happen. I actually had a dream about it last night. I don't remember exactly what happened in the dream, but I do remember it had to do with Skippy on the show.

Last night I was at the Improv which was great since I haven't been hanging out there much lately. It's weird, ever since I moved in with Allison, I've been a big homebody. Most of the time it's nice to just be with her, but sometimes...well, it gets to me. I have to remember that it's OK to just go out on my own. She encourages that, so I should do it more often.

Anyway, I was there and there were a few old friends there like Jimmy Dore, Doug Benson and Nick Swardson, among others. It's cool when I can just sit and hang with cool peeps. Actually, I was mainly listening to Doug & Jimmy as they discussed comedy and the road. That's another thing that I miss; doing the road. This year has probably been my least traveling year in awhile. I never realized how much it's really in my blood to work the road, you know?

I know that Pablo might be planning another European tour, so I'm hoping that I can get on that again this year. I would fucking love it!

I miss you Europe!

So now Ally and I are about to eat and then we are spending the night in downtown LA because she has to be down there at the ass crack of dawn. She's working on something that will, with any luck, bring good things into her life. So send those good vibes her way too.

I'll talk to you guys later. OH, and in case you didn't notice, there are a few new videos. But since I'm such a great guy, I'll just put them right here. You're welcome.

6/2/10
Wow, I can't believe I let and entire month slip without blogging. I don't think I ever went that long. My apologies...and thanks to Craig for bringing this to my attention.

I guess the reason would have to be that I've been preoccupied with other things in my life. But this blog was supposed to be a way to vent out my frustrations, so in a sense, I only hurt myself. Forgive me bloggers? Thanks, you're the best.

What's been frustrating me, you ask? Let's just call it "unexpected life lessons", and leave it at that.

It's so weird; you think you have it all figured out. You think, "Man, I'm finally somewhere in my life where everything is going perfectly. I've done it, I've reached perfection", and then BAM!, life says, "Nope! Try this on for size!" And suddenly your whole perspective is thrown for a loop.

Now if you are an avid follower of my blogs/rants, you'll know that periodically I have these moments of frustration, doubt, anger and depression, but (as you know) it passes and things get back to normal. So I'm sure that this phase will be the same thing. It's just that, as always, when it's happening, it seems hopeless. But I KNOW that it's not. I definitely know it.

I'm really looking foward to going back on the road. I keep forgetting how much I love traveling and miss it so much. Plus I'm going to see my family next month in Florida, so that's always a mood booster...especially since I get to see Lily. Such an angel.

OK, change of pace time, some good news.

I didn't mention this before because I wanted to see what would happen, but now I have a pretty good indication that it's all good, so I guess I can tell you. This Monday, June 7, "Last Comic Standing 7" premieres and there's a good chance that you will see Skippy Greene on the LA auditions! I've been told that they're going to show Skippy and give him some good face time. I can tell you that Skippy did not make it past the audition, but, like I said, he will get some time on the show. Maybe 30 seconds, which is great for an NBC show.

Who knows what that kind of exposure can bring, I'm thinking that it will be amazing for the character. Hey, why not dream big, right? What if someone sees Skippy and says, "Hey, that's funny & different...I want to meet this guy." And what if that "someone" happens to be a big time director or actor who thinks Skippy is the bees-knees??? And they offer Skippy a sitcom, or a movie role!? And then Skippy becomes a huge star, with whores out that wazoo...and you know how many whores fit in a wazoo, right?

And then Skippy writes his memoirs and it becomes a best seller and they do a movie about Skippy....and who do think they offer the part of Skippy Greene to??? That's right...Justin Beiber!

God, I can see it all now.

...though it would be perfect that Skippy gets famous before me.

Fuck, I just realized how incredibly schitzo that all sounds. I just think it's easier to refer to Skippy in the first person, rather than always saying, "Me as Skippy" or "Skippy (aka, me)", etc...that would get even more annoying, and a lot quicker.

But anyways, I'm just trying to stay positive. To know, for sure and without any doubt, that life is going to be fine. Not perfect forever, because (as I've found), nothing stays perfect forever. But that life will always balance itself out and the problems that we have now will not be there later. And that some of those problems will go away by themselves, and others I will fix.

I also have to remind myself that I have an amazing woman standing by my side constantly...and that I will be by her side as well.

I'm never going to concede to failure; never going to accept anything average, you know? I'm trying to not always rest on my laurels and say, "Well, this is as good as it's going to be". No. I'm always going to strive for the absolute best. But what I can't forget is that even without any success in my career, I have the best family in the world and the exact woman I've always wanted.

And I think that with them, and knowing that I have them, I can do anything.

Positive thinking. Positive vides. Just plain positive.

Well my friends, I'm going to get going. I promise you that I will blog more regularly, even if it's just to say hi.

I love you guys.

Oh, and aas a side note, I just want to say that I was really sad to hear about the passing of Gary Coleman. Even though his name became more of a punchline towards the end of his life, he still was an icon of the 80's, and he brought me so much joy as a child.

I remember being so excited when Friday night came because I knew Diff'rent Strokes was coming on. As a matter of fact, my friend Craig (who reminded me of my lack of blogging) and I used to discuss the show weekly. One particular episode was about when Arnold and Kimberly got kidnapped during a 2 part episode. And at the end of the part one, the kidnapper tired Arnold to a bed and duct taped his mouth shut. The next day I met up with Craig for our bowling league (yes, I bowl, and I'm pretty darn good, thank you), and I distinctly remember saying, "Man, Arnold's in trouble!"

Those memories are priceless to me and I know that Gary Coleman, and the rest of the cast, were responsible for that.

What's really cool was that I met Gary a few years ago at a Thanksgiving party that my friend threw. Gary was a really nice guy, liked to laugh and was pretty cool. So I'm really honored to have at least had the chance to meet him and say hi. I don't think I told him how much I loved his show; I figured he was tired of being known as "that kid" for so long, I just hung out.

...actually, now that I think about it, my friend who was throwing the party is a big fan of Skippy. And he made me do the "Gary Coleman" story to Gary Coleman. Yeah, that was awkward. In case you don't know Skippy's story about Gary, here it is:

"It was 1986, me and Gary split the cost of a hooker. So she's knelt down between the two of us and she's jerking me with the right hand; and doing a great job. She's not too ambidextrous, so she's off rhythm with the left. So I turn to Gary and say, 'Hey Gary, isn't this funny? We're getting diff'rent strokes!' We laughed..."

I remember Gary looked at me with a straight face and said, "And you're a comedian?" Later on that night, I said something else and he laughed and said, "OK, you're funny." So, that was really cool. To be honest, I didn't want to tell the story/joke (especially to the guy that it is involving); again, I figured he had heard all the jokes. But, again, he was a cool guy.

So I say once more, thanks for the memories Gary...and for bringing the word "Gooch" into our vernacular.