So right now I am backstage the City Theatre in Lahti for the last show of the tour. I can't believe it's just about over. It's gone by so fucking fast.

Oh, before I continue I have to say big thanks to the people of Espoo and Turku; I had such fun at the shows. Espoo was especially fun because it was in a very intimate venue. It was like a college cafeteria and it was great. I mean I love playing the theaters and big clubs too, but this kinda felt more loose; less pressure if that makes any sense. And the crowds were young and really fun. They gave off such great energy because the venue was so intimate.

Again, EVERY crowd has been amazing, I'm not playing favorites with Espoo, but the venue was a nice change of pace for me.

Anyway, it's about one hour before showtime and I can't wait for the show to begin. I'm stating to get that antsy feeling because I know this is the last one and then tomorrow I get to go home. That I'm looking forward to...the 12 hours of flying, that I'm not looking forward to.

You want to know how insane I am? I have a friend picking me up at the airport in LA, and right after we drop my shit off at my apartment, we're going to do an open mike night. Yes, I'm going to do some open mike comedy after doing a 2 week Finland tour and flying 12 hours.

Why you may ask? Because I'm out of my mind...and I want to see how some jokes I wrote out here might translate back in the US.

On a sidenote, I have to also give thanks to the other comics on the tour: Ismo Leikola and Illari Johanssen...they are incredibly funny and really cool guys.

Actually a few days ago in Turku they had a comedy festival (of which I was a performer..thank you) and our show was done completely in English. It was really cool because I could finally hear what Ismo and Illari were saying for the past week. That show was really fun too.

I video taped a few shows so I'm going to try to upload some clips when I get back home.

I'm really fucking tired. I'm sure when the show starts the adrenaline will start to flow and I'll be fine, it's just for right now, I'm pooped.

What's different about this tour and last years' tour is that last year, with the exception of London and Rykjavik, we had 4-6 shows in each town and usually some down time. Which means we were in one place for a few days at least. On this tour, we've been moving almost everyday. We've toured for 10 days and had only 2 times where I was in the same hotel room for 2 days. Other than that, I've checked in...unpacked...eaten...did my show...went back to the hotel and slept...and then the next morning I'd repack...check out and drive to the next town.

OH, big props to Antti, the tour promoter, for putting this whole thing together and doing ALL of the driving...even when he would rather have slept longer.

Well my friends, I am going to get myself pumped up a bit and walk around the theater. Again, kiitos (Finnish for 'thanks') to everyone out here for thier love support. I have a feeling I'll be seeing you all again very soon. :)

9/25/08
I can't talk because I'm fucking exhausted, but I just had to say THANK YOU to the people of Espoo for one of the most amazing shows I've ever been a part of ! More about that tomorrow....dreamy time.

9/24/08
Greetings all, I'm just sitting in the lobby of my hotel in Helsinki; just waiting to get picked up and drive to Tampere where we have 2 shows tonight.

I've had the last two days off, so I've been relaxing, writing and doing some karaoke. Actually last night was a lot of fun. Myself, some guys from the tour, some of their friends a few of my facebook buddies did some karaoke and it was a blast. Pictures and video soon to be uploaded.

That's what's so cool about the internet; as much as I hate that as a society we're regressing socially, I love that things like MySpace and Facebookk bring people together.

Anyway, last night I did 4 new karaoke songs. I never tried them before and to my surprise (and to those around me) they sounded really good. I never thought I had a good singing voice mainly because everyone used to tell me I have a bad singing voice. But everyone last night was telling me that I sang really well. Not just those in our party, but complete strangers.

Hm...maybe I should give up comedy and become a singer? Nah...

Oh, this was really cool...on Monday I was at the local mall doing some writing and this kid passed by, stopped and then said to me, "Are you Flip Schultz?" "Yes." "Oh man, I saw your show in Helsinki, you are great."

I swear that never happens to me in the states...not yet anyway. Hehehehe.... I mean I don't do comedy to get recognized on the street; I just love doing comedy, period. But I always felt that being recognized is a way to know that you're getting famous and successful; and I guess that when the kid recognized me, it made me feel that I'm getting that point.

So incredibly bizarre yet exciting as all hell.

So for the past hour or so I've been uploading new clips to the Audio Page, check'em out. There are six new clips from my show in Helsinki and a prank call that I did for a radio station in Helsinki. It was to this guy who was on the Finnish version of "Big Brother". He was a good sport...surprisingly. All I have to say is the call included chats about anal sex.

OK, I'm going to shut down the ol' laptop and get ready to go. Hope to see some of you on the last half of my tour...well, those of you in Finland. Anyone else I don't expect to see you here.

...although that would be an amazing show of support.

OH!!! I added a new thing to the Merchadise Page; you can now digitally buy my CDs! Right now most of them are through CD Baby (with the exception of "Ribbed For Your Pleasure") but soon they'll all be through iTunes. Just thought you'd like to know. That's all. Bye.

9/21/08
Moi everyone...moi is Finnish for "hi". I am writing you now from my hotel room in Oulu; just about to leave for my show here. We have one show at 6:30; not really a good time for comedy, but it should be fun.

So far everything is really great. I'll be honest, my first show in Pori felt really shitty to me. Despite the other comics telling me that it was fine, I know what I'm capable of and that was not it. I'm sure the crowd enjoyed it, but I really felt bad for giving a subpar show.

The next night was Helsinki...wow! Just wow! You guys were amazing; I'm still grinning from that show. I actually got a standing ovation when I walked out on stage! How insane is that!? The whole set just flowed and I truly enjoyed myself. And there were over 1100 people. Yeah...1100! Can you say "unreal"? I know I did.

Next year I think we're going to save Helsinki for the last show. No offense to any other city or venue, it's just the venue in Helsinki (The Hall of Culture) is huge and the energy is top notch.

Last night we had two shows in Jyväskylä and they were pretty good. I think, again, I feel a litte short on the first show. I actually got distracted by some talking in the audience and I let it get to me. That's a rookie mistake. The late show I felt more together.

Another reason I think I've been a little off with some shows is that my body was still getting used to the time shift. Like right now it's 5:45 PM, but in LA it's 7:45 AM. So I've been dealing with that. Though last night I passed out hard when I got to my hotel and I woke up feeling completely refreshed, so I think I'm all good now...of course in a week I'll be going back to LA and I'm sure it'll take me a few days to get back on schedule there.

What's fun about the tour so far is that I'm re-discovering some old jokes that I'm using. For instance, there's this joke I wrote about the 2000 election. I had forgotten about it until I was going through some notes and realized that I could use it for this election. Suddenly I've got a new joke again that gets an applause break. Yay me!

But I've got to say that this whole experience is just amazing. Sometimes I forget that I'm really here right now. I mean I'm in Finland doing my own fucking tour! I can't put into words how that affects me not only as a performer, but as a person. It's so incredible. Added to that the fact that so many amazing people are coming to my shows and supporting me. You guys have truly made me feel unbelievable. You've made me feel welcome. Like I'm that strange foriegn exchange student and you've invited me to the cool party. :)

Well I've got to get going; time to go do my show. I hope you guys are smiling and I'll talk to you later.

Moi-moi...that means g'bye. Duh...

Oh, I posted a little video clip of me being interviewed at a Finnish radio station: Finnish Radio Interview

9/18/08
Once again it's happened...I'm all fucked up as far as my body-clock in concerned and it's 2:30 AM and I'm awake.

FUCK!!!!

Not going to blog much; I want to try and get back to sleep...but this is so frustrating. I remember this happening last time I was here and it took me a few days to get on track.

I just thought I'd be alright this time since I didn't sleep at all on my flight over here and completely passed out at about 10:30 PM here. I figured I'd sleep until at least 8:00 or so. Oh well...

But I'm here in Finland! And my luggage (which was lost for a little bit) is here with me too. Yay luggage.

OK, time to go back to sleep...wish me luck.

I'll be posting some pics and hopefully videos soon enough my friends; keep an eye out.

9/16/08
Well, it's time people! I can't believe the day is here...that's right, it's my hamster's birthday!!!

Every wish Harvey a happy birthday.

...I'm kidding of course, today is the day I leave for Finland on my tour. Besides, we all know Harvey's birthday is in July.

Anyway, I'm at the airport right now in the Business Class lounge...that's right, only the best for me. Actually, I NEVER get to fly business class, so this is a really amazing treat for me. But I'm sitting here on my laptop, sipping some coffee and trying to keep my excitment inside so I don't just yell at the top of my lungs, "I'm going to tour Finland!" I think someone might think I'm a terrorist and that was just code for "I'm going to blow up the plane!" Which it's not.

I got here really early and I'm glad I did. The line wasn't that long but there was a hold up at check in and if I would've gotten here any later the line might've been worse, the hold up might not have been able to work out and I might've missed my flight. At least now I know it's all good.

I was hoping to get more DVDs in my hands before I left so I could bring them, but alas they did not arrive before I left. But don't worry, if (God forbid) I run out of merchandise before this tour is over, you can still order them off of the Merchandise Page.

I'll be honest, right now the reality hasn't really settled in yet. I think when I actually land in Paris (my layover) and see the town and the Eiffel Tower...THEN I think it'll settle in as real. This is what happened to me last year when I toured. So I guess that's just my M.O.

I'd like to say something to all of my friends in Norway and Sweden:

I want to thank you guys for all of your emails asking when I'm coming back to see you. I am in the process of doing that right now. Nothing is final, but there is work going towards it. Trust me, I want to see you just as bad. :)

So last night I did 3 spots all over town working on some new bits for the tour. Actually they're older bits that I stopped doing or never really worked on. But after last night, I think I have a good 5-8 new minutes! So keep a look out for it. I love it when that happens; when I find some new laughs or find out that an old joke still works. Very satisfying.

OK kids, I'm going to get going. Wish me luck!

...ah, fuck luck. Wish me fun. :P

Talk to you later.

9/11/08
So I'm getting ready for my Finland tour...less than a week away.

I can't fucking believe it's here already. Honestly, it isn't really hitting me yet. I mean I know that I'm going and I know that it's less than a week away...but the actual feeling isn't hitting me yet. I guess I'm just more amazed at how fast time has seemed to go.

The promoter approached me about this last year when I was in Finland...we finally got the ball rolling earlier this year...got everything finalized in April and announced it a few days later. So that was April...April! Five months ago! And now it's here! It hardly seems like any time has gone by.

Of course if I really think about it, there have been a lot of things going on since then that can help me put it all in perspective. The main thing is that I got my DVD all done. I'm still waiting for the advanced copies so I can bring them with me to Finland.

I'm supposed to have them here by Saturday which leaves me a few days to get them all ready to take with me. Let's hope they get here.

So, on a completely different note...I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks about where they were 7 years ago today. 9/11...seriously, the day the world changed. Completely.

And to be honest, I think that we're all still pretty fucked. I really hope that Obama wins.

I don't usually get political on here, but I will be sick if McCain actually pulls this off. I mean it; just sick and full of depression. He is only going to continue what Bush has done and that is to drive us as a country into the toilet with every aspect of his presidency. It's just awful and sickening.

I'm not saying Obama is the second coming of Jesus or anything...wait, I'm Jewish...OK, let me rephrase that. I'm not saying that Obama is the second coming of Woody Allen or anything, I'm just saying that he is fresh, different and seems to truly have a vision of how to make this country great again.

It's like when Clinton was running; he was fresh, new, young and charming as all hell. And I'm not saying Clinton was perfect, but didn't the country kinda turn around for the better? Didn't he create a national surplus? Sure, he got a blowjob and lied to his wife about it...but what's more American than that!?

Wow, did I just do a Clinton joke? Sorry.

Anyways, I hope that enough of this country doesn't get wrapped up with Palin that they lose sight of what's wrong with everything.

To me Palin is just a distraction. She's an unproven politician with hypocritical points of views. But (and I don't want to sound sexist) it seems that because she's a woman, she's garnering all of Hillary's supporters...just because of that one thing.

She's like the really hot assistant to the magician. You know, while she's on stage looking good, being entertaining ("pitball and soccer mom...lipstick! Ha!), the Great McCain is pulling the rabbit out of a box and no one sees it.

He's not a new leader, he's a bullshit artist with a new way to distract from the issues.

Again, this is just my opinion and you have every right to disagree...but this is also my blog. So nah-nee-nah-nee-boo-boo. :)

OK, I'm done with my political rant, time to go.

Let's just all pray that either way this election goes, we get this country back on the path to healing.

...great, now I sound like some shitty after school special.

9/5/08
OK, I have to blog about this really quickly.

So if you read yesterday's blog, you know what happened when I went to that Obama rally. Well, on my facebook page I wrote my status as:

"Flip Schultz just got hosed with water by a b*tch at an Obama rally. Probably a f**king Republican"

A little bit of venting, and a little bit of humor. Right? Right.

So today I get a facebook message from "Allison Shapiro" (incidentally, there was no picture and no way to write "her" back) and here's what the message read:

"...Wow, you really are as ignorant and gay as you look, aren't you? Keep you're assinine political comments to yourself. Hussein is as qualified to be President as you are to host the Academy Awards. Good thing you're a no-one, from no-where, whose opinion doesn't matter. At the end of the day you are: ugly, un-talented, un-successful, un-employed, single, sad and lonely. A more effeminine fag Jew weeble never existed. May a thousand tumors rain upon you. You deserve it :)"

Seriously? You're going to go there?

Honestly, this doesn't hurt me, or make me angry; it just makes me laugh.

I think I mentioned this in a previous blog when someone wrote something horribly negative about me (yes, there are those people), but why in the hell would you take the time to write something like that? Why? What good is it going to do?

Now granted, I wrote something on my facebook page that people might be offended by or get angry about. But it's political. Allison, if you want to discuss my post, write me and let's discuss politics. What you wrote to me was an attack on my comedy (which you have every right to not like) and to say, "A more effeminine fag Jew weeble never existed. May a thousand tumors rain upon you. You deserve it."

Well, tell me if I'm wrong, but that is just mean, hateful and racist. Nowhere in your message dear Allison, did you try to talk politics or tell me that I was wrong to lump all Republicans in the same group as the bitch who sparyed us with water. You just spewed forth hate and ignorance...and a truly unfunny insult. I mean "tumors", never a good comedy subject.

Now herpies or anal-warts, granted not as extreme, but a helluva lot more humorous.

I doubt dear Ms. Shapiro will ever read this (since, again, she was too cowardess to leave a way to respond) but if she ever does, just know that your words didn't affect me or my political opinion...they just made me laugh and gave me a nice thing to blog about.

The truth is, tomorrow I'll be living a great life, doing the job that I love to do and making a very comfortable living. But mainly being happy with who I am and what I feel. You, on the other hand, will be sitting somewhere (most likely alone) with your hatred, ignorance, and dark soul and you'll probably go on to youtube and trash an Obama speech. I'm sure that will fill you with some kind of pride, but in the long run, you're just sad and racist.

PS-I just changed my facebook status to: "Flip Schultz is laughing at Allison Shapiro".

9/4/08
I feel like a 60s radical right now.

My buddy and I just got back from attending an Obama rally. They opened up his southern California campaign headquarters literally 5 blocks from my apartment and today was the opening so we decided to walk there.

Apparently they only had 150 RSVPs and over (I'd guess) 500 people showed up. So they moved it from inside the offices to the parking log behind the building.

Now this is in a residential area and there were a lot of people waiting for the lot to open up and some of us were hanging out by an apartment building. All of a sudden this bitch (white and Republican I'm sure) comes storming out, "This is private property! Get off my property!" And we were like, "Calm down. Don't be so rude." And she yelled, "I'm going to call the police!" And we're like, "Call them!"

Seriously, what is she going to say, "Police, there are 500 Democrats on my property! Help!"

So she storms back into her building...incidentally, I don't even know if she owned the building, or just lived there. Not 5 minutes later she appears on her balcony and proceeds to turn on her hose and spray everyone with water! Seriously!

What the fuck is that about? Were we hurting her? Were we destroying property or inciting a riot?

No, we were listening to speakers and showing support for a politician.

So everyone started booing and she scurried back into her fortress of solitude.

But I gotta tell ya; it made me feel somewhat impowered. I mean just standing there to be a part of history and then to have someone try and distrupt that, while still standing there. Pretty fucking cool.

We stayed a bit longer but after a while we couldn't hear shit (we were in the back) and it was getting really crowded.

So before it got too out of hand, we left.

By "too out of hand", I mean the cops might've shown up. And standing my ground while getting sprayed with water is one thing, but getting thrown in the slammer for any reason is quite another.

Not that I could think of what they'd charge us with, but still, they might come up with something.

I'm never been really political, but I can't help but feel lucky to be alive during such a historic moment in our country's history. This must be what it felt like to be there when Martin Luther King spoke, or to see Kennedy get elected. Such momentous moments.

I know Obama does have some ideas that I'm not crazy about (raising taxes, really?) but in the long run, I truly feel that he'll be able to turn this country back toward what it initally stood for.

I mean how fucked up is our country's reputation around the world. Well, maybe more Bush than America in particular, but still, it's not pretty.

When I toured Europe last year, I did this one joke where I talk about how screwed up this world is, and then I say, "But it's almost over, one more year and he's out." And EVERY crowd erupted into applause. No boos, no hisses, not even a person just sitting there....EVERYONE cheered. It was interesting.

I mean I liked the applause, but I'd rather have a President that I could be proud of. A President who, if I said, "And how about that Bush?" and an audience in a foriegn country gave that same ovation. That would be fantastic.

I watched a little of Palin's speech last night at the RNC...it's amazing that she was able to breath with all of that bullshit that was coming out of her mouth.

And my 2 cents about her daughter being pregnant is this...I've been to Alaska 3 times. There's really nothing to do there but drink and fuck. I'm surprised the girl last to 16 before getting knocked up. :)

OK, that was joke...kinda. But in all seriousness, it's a family issue and shouldn't reflect her political stance. I hope the Democrats don't really start using that as a platform against Palin. I'm sure the daughter feels awful enough and doesn't need the whole world against her as well.

Now the Democrats should use all the facts about her politically to bring her down.

OK, enough of my stupid rant, I'm going to check my Facebook and head on out to join some friends at a bar.

Later!

9/2/08
OK, had some things on my mind today.

Isn't it natural to think that as you grow older, your habits, inhabitions and troubles that you had as a younger person would go away? I mean you learn lessons as you grow older and with those lessons problems are solved. Right? I thought so too.

But it seems that now problems that I've had all of my life are still here. Why? Seriously, why?

I have things going on in my brain that I've had going on since I was a wee tyke, and they're still there. Why???

Is this shit going to stay with me my whole life?

Or maybe it's still here because I'm allowing it to be.

Why are we such slaves to our thoughts and emotions. Wow, that was actually a contridiction now that I think about it. Because thought (in most cases) equals logic, and logic is the exact opposite of emotion. But I guess we can be slaves to both of them. I think I was imagining the two of them co-existing harmoniously...which is very tough.

Where logic is calm and rational, emotion is quick and unjustifiable in its thinking. I just wish my logic would over-power my emotion.

That's one of the big drawbacks about being a comedian; over-active imaginations. See my mind is trained to think a lot and to constantly be working, which is good when working on jokes, or writing scripts and whatnot. But when I don't have anything work related to think about, my mind doesn't care. It just keeps on thinking at full speed. And since my mind is used to thinking about things in a "out of the ordinary" way, it does so with every thought I have.

If I'm thinking about a joke about "The Dark Knight", my mind thinks about every aspect of that movie (Batman, Joker, Heath Ledger dying, etc) and I come up with a joke. But my mind explored a lot of different angles to get there.

Well, when I'm thinking of just normal things, for example; getting my car washed. Instead of just thinking about where to go, or what kind of wash to get, I start to think what if I never washed my car again. How much dust and dirt would get on it? Would friends stop hanging out with me because of it? And if they stopped hanging out with me because of that, were they really my friends to begin with? As a matter of fact, I bet they're all my friends because of my car! This is all an elaborate plan to get me to drive them places in my kick ass, clean car! Well fuck that! I'll wash my car but I'm never talking to my friends again!

I know that sounds far-fetched, but my mind can go to those bizarre and unreal places.

I remember one time (a long time ago...in a galaxy...seriously, it was about 9 years ago) I was dating this incredibly beautiful woman and I just couldn't grasp the concept that she liked me. Or why she liked me. (Yes, self-confidence issues were growing out of my ass) And I actually thought that she might be part of a cult and was going to try and convert me to her religion.

I swear to God, that's a true story.

I'm not sure exactly what the reason is that I do this.

Is is a lack of self-confidence, or a more sense of self-awareness, or I'm just out of my fucking mind....well, I guess that's a given.

I just need to rewire my brain; to think more logically and not be so quick to jump to emotion. I need to understand that emotion and imagination are good but only for half of the time. I need to stay grounded the rest of the time.

OK, I'm babbling.

Change of subject, the new DVD is being produced as we speak! I'm soooo fucking excited.

I should have them in my hands just before I go to Finland.

I uploaded some clips from the DVD, check them out.

OK, I'm going to get out of my apartment and do something stimulating. What might that be?

...I have no idea. But I'll try to be logical about it...while still being a bit emotional. Just a bit....maybe I'll call it, "being emogical". :)

Oh, check out the ad for me in Finland!