I've always been a fan of Marc's and listening to him talk about how he was down and thought his career was over, and then him finding his voice through his podcast was just inspirational. It's motivational as well. I want to start one of my own and I don't know why I haven't done it yet. I am sitting here in my apartment with a sound board and microphones all ready to go...and yet I haven't done it. Why? What the fuck Flip?! Just do it.

I don't plan on doing something like Marc's; hell I'm not as dark and self loathing as he seems to be. Brilliant as he is, his dark side seems to be his secret. Me, I'm more playful. I know I have a dark side (hell, everyone does), but it's nothing above average.

If anything, my dark side; my weakness is laziness.

For example, as I am writing this blog, I actually stopped for 5 minutes to watch porn. Seriously. That's how lazy I am.

Anyway...

So I want to conquer my laziness and really commit to this podcast thing. I mean what can it hurt? Nothing.

Fuck it, I'm going to do one this week; just do it. Invite a friend or two over and just do it.

I have an idea of what I want to do, and I'll just take it from there.

Just do it. Stay tuned for it soon. That's a promise.

7/23/11
OK, all I want to know is why are some people just rude?

I'm in Fresno this week and the first 2 nights have been amazing. Fun shows, fun people. But tonight...tonight there were a few real asshole/rude people that fucked the show up for everyone.

This really sad guy (he had a beard, just in case he's reading this) who decided to yell something rude and uncalled for at me during my show. And I did something stupid, I tried to shut him down with an insult (which, if you read my blog) know that I don't usually do that. But instead of just insulting him, I made a mean generalization about the city. And that did was alienate me and from then on, it was pretty much silence the whole show. Literally, when I would get the usual laughs (like I'd had the whole week), there was silence; maybe a chuckle.

Had nothing to do with the way the joke was told, the words I used...nope. It was because the whole crowd felt either awkward or angry. But whatever the reason, it was quiet.

Then, when I was at my time limit, I revealed that Allison is my fiance, and the bearded douchebag yells "at least someone in the family's got talent"...FYI-Allison was also on the show and she KILLED!!!.

And that just set me off. I didn't even want to do our love duet. Allison, thank Allah, said, "No, we're going to do it". And she was right (yes, I admit my girl was right), because there were a lot of other people there and they weren't being rude. They did pay to watch the show.

...you know, now that I think about it, I think the crowd wasn't angry, they felt awkward. Because they were enjoying it, they just weren't vocal, I think, because I made them feel weird for going off of a guy.

...that was "going" off, not "getting" off; you sicko's.

Anyway, I just hated that he got to me so much.

Even now, I hate that he got to me so much that I had to blog about it. But I think this just comes from the point of view of, "why"?

It's just a man who has a small opinion of himself that he has to try to bring people down to his level.

Oh, and his wife was a c**t too.

7/20/11
I feel so lazy right now; I know there are things I need to do but I just can't summon the motivation right now.

I really want to go and finish writing this project idea I have. Plus I am working on a podcast idea. All of which needs time invested...and I am so fucking lazy.

I need a drill sargent to stand next to me and call me a pussy and other hurtful things to get me off of my ass...either that or coffee...OR A DRILL SARGENT ON COFFEE!!!

On another note, apparently I'm going to be on TMZ tonight. I got an email from this guy I hadn't heard from in awhile (who, I guess, works at TMZ) and he said that an interview I did last night at the Improv will be featured on the episode. That's so fucking cool. I really love that show and the website, so I'm really thrilled to be on it...even if it's only for a silly question. We'll see how they show me.

By that I mean if it will be in a good light, ie: "Oh, he's funny...good point...etc." or a bad light: "What an idiot...who cares?...etc."

No, only good thoughts now Flip, good thoughts.

OK, I'm starting to motivate myself, so I'm going to get off of my duff (that's an old term for "ass"...not just a beer in Springfield) and do some writing. Then it's off to The Icehouse for a show later tonight. It's a taping for Comedytime.com. Should be up in a little while.

Then tomorrow Allison and I are in Fresno at Heroes, tickets available here.

Byyyyye.

7/13/11
Holy shit, I can't believe I had only ONE blog entry last month. One?! Fuck me, I've never done that in all the years I've been blogging.

I honestly don't know why I've been slacking.

Don't get me wrong, there have been some reasons: I've had family here, a lot of house guests, doing shows. But still, to not find 5 fucking minutes to jot something down, well that's just lazy. Pure and simple.

Like I remember when I first started this blog, I would write everyday. Maybe slack off for a day or two at a time, but never, EVER, like this. This is my therapy; how I vent or brag. I honestly think one of the reasons is that with my new computer, there's like 2 extra steps to do this and I just would rather not do that. What a lazy shit I can be. Fuck.

Another reason is that...well, I've been really, not depressed, but worried. I fucking do this to myself all the time. I worry myself about work, money, etc. And all that does is fuel more stress into more worry into more stress and before I know it, it's been a month and I'm not really any better.

I don't have too much booked right now. I've been calling and emailing the Improv's in south Florida, but I am getting NO response. This is really worrying me. The economy is hitting everybody so hard. At first I wasn't too worried because I had a lot of work booked, but now I see that eventually the economy woes trickle down to everyone.

I can look back on this blog and see how I've been "here" before, and that in time, it all gets better. And I know I'm sounding like a broken record but I hate this part now. This "feeling lost and hopeless" part. And then I'll start to think positive, to try and be positive and do positive things to help myself...but it takes a toll when things aren't changing.

I mean shit, I want to succeed and be happy and positive. I have every other reason to be. I have an amazing woman (story to tell you about that, but that's for another time), an amazing family, amazing friends. I just wish, for once, it can all be balanced. My god, does it ever?

Again, read back and you will see some blogs about how my career is doing great but my love life isn't. And there fleeting moments where everything is balanced and perfect...but, inevitably, the girl in question turns out to be the wrong girl (some more wrong than others) and the balance is gone. So now I have "the one", the perfect woman...and the career is shitty. When can it all just be balanced? Where there's a few months or years of no worry. Of complete balance?

I know that it's possible, that it's there to be had, I just don't know how to get it. How?

It seems that in this business you have to have "the right people" behind you, or "the right friends"...FUCK!

Interesting. I just screamed into my pillow, just to let out some stress...and it worked. Sometimes that helps.

OK, let's talk about some good things that have happened. Well, I did just shoot a stand up show for TV called Comedy.TV. It should start airing this year. Wow, here I am bitching about my career and then say "I just shot a TV show". Fuck, I really need to keep things in perspective.

OK, just to go back to this for a second...I'm not so much worried about work altogether, I guess it's a worry that I won't "make it". I know, I know, I do this for a living, I've already made it. But you know what I mean, I want "it". Movies, TV shows, fame, wealth, etc. It's shallow, it's unimportant in the long run, I know. But I can't lie, I want it more than anything in the world...well, almost anything. I do have Allison, and she is more important than that. But hell, why can't I have both? Who says you can only have the one?

I WANT THEM BOTH!

But you know what, I'm done bitching about what I don't have...yet.

OK, so I shot that TV thing and I've been going up a lot lately. The Improv is having the Teen Tours coming through and I'm always on their short list of go-to comics for that, which is nice. I've also had a few Skippy things happening. I did a show at The Key Club (big LA rock club) as part of "The Sex, Stand Up & Rock 'N' Roll" show, which was awesome. Skippy also gained a new fan:

Pretty cool? In case you don't recognize that man (with his clothes on), that is Ron Jeremy, porn legend. Quite appropriate for Skippy, no? Actually, Ron was really cool and genuinely enjoyed my show. Afterwards I gave him a Skippy DVD and he said, "Wow, thanks. I wish I had a video of mine for you." To which I (Skippy) said, "I've seen plenty of your videos, consider us even."

I thought it was clever. :)

I also did a roast as Skippy. Check'er out:

It was definitely memorable.

So now I'm just working on some promo stuff for a Skippy show at Flappers Comedy Club I'm doing later this month. I hate being in charge of promoting my own show, but you gotta do it.

OK, I just created a Facebook Event Page for the show. First job's done. Now it's about getting the word out.

Well kids, I am going to get going and do some more work. I promise, not just you, but myself, that I will be more active with this blog. Cross my heart and hope to...get a bad allergy attack. I don't want to die.