Happy Halloween everyone! Hope that the boo's and the booze flow like a mighty river of drunken horror. For myself, I am taking this Hallow's Eve off and just staying at home and relaxing. I had a very exhausting day; I went paintballing for the first time. It was fun, but I know I'm going to be paying for it tomorrow...muy bruises, but I don't think they're going to be that bad...this is where we cut to the next day and my back and legs are black and blue and I'm crying like a little bitch because of the pain. I'll post some pics in a bit.
Aside from the paintball, not too much else to report. There is a bit on the Level 8 shit going on, but again, that's level 8 and you are not privy to such information. I wish I could tell ya about it, but seriously, I don't know you very well. I mean, we just met...let's not rush into anything, k?
For all of my friends in South Florida: I was told by the Improv down there that they would have work for me in December. As of now, I don't have anything specific, but we shall see. Always check the Tour Page for updates.
OH, so a big thing that's coming up is my birthday! I think I'm going to to invite folks to the Pig 'N' Whistle in Hollywood for some drinks and fun. If you're in the area on my birthday (Nov. 10), please come on by...and don't forget the gift... seriously. Or just buy me a drink. Alcohol: The gift that keeps on giving.
So I'm in the airport here in Toronto, got about an hour before my flight takes off, and guess what....I GOT A FUCKING MIDDLE SEAT!!! I can't believe that shit, I'm hoping to switch the seat, but it's a full flight...damn. I am kind of tired though, so maybe I'll get lucky and sleep the whole way. I got about 5 hours of sleep; myself and the other comic (Stewart Silver) had to leave about 7:30 this morning from Ottawa to get me back here in time. All in all, my time in Ottawa was really fine...well, the shows were fine, but I really didn't venture too far in Ottawa. Weather was really shitty.
Oh yeah, Ms. Poland actually came to the next two shows and she was perfect. And the crowds were just amazing, especially the Friday late show because there was this guy in the front row who was such a great laugher and was so much fun to fuck with. He had a great sense of humor. I think I am going to try and post some of that. I realized that I have so many great moments with the crowd that I'm going to add a section on the Audio Clips Page dedicated to great audience interaction moments. I know what you're thinking...."Finally!" Don't worry my bloggers, I've heard your cries and I have answered them. :)
So this was kinda cool, I was exchanging my Canadian money for American (shitty exchange rate by the way; $1.19 Canadian for every US dollar) and guess who is in front of me in line? Mandy Patinkin! It was really bizarre. I was hoping he would be on my flight back to LA, but I don't see him. Just wanted to get a picture with him, but I'm sure he gets that all the time. Either way, it was cool to meet him.
So now I've got one more booked gig on the road and then....nothing. Getting a bit nervous now, I need to start booking up like a mutha fucka. It's weird, there are times when I'm booked for months and then moments like this when I've got nothing. I mean it always works out, but I still get nervous.
OK, I'm going to shut down and get ready to board. Goodbye Canada, thanks for the memories.
I actually stopped my show twice because of these fuckers. The college pricks got kicked out but lil' Ms. Polish didn't...and by the time I was ready to punch her in the _____ (use your imagination), the show was just about over.
Well, as I was coming back up to my room, guess who was first in line to come back???? Lil' Ms. Poland! Apparently she felt horrible and wanted to come back; and she brought 10 people. I told the manager that if she starts up again, to kick her out, no second chances. I just fucking hate that.
Speaking of hate, I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats to find out what happened with the laundry. Well, put it this way: I'm not going to get the domain name, but I'll still tell you what hotel it is. Here's why, the hotel said they could kind of see how I was confused, but no one had ever had a problem with it before. I'm sure, they probably had $100 suits to begin with...I HAD 7 T-SHIRTS!!! Anyway, they said that they will take off most of their cut from the service, but that's all. So I didn't quite win, but I made my point and got some money off. And now, the name of the hotel that fucked me out of $70 for laundry....(drum roll)....exciting isn't it???.....
And listen, I'm not knocking the hotel as a "hotel"; very nice rooms and (obviously) a nice staff. I'm just saying, don't get your laundry done there.
Although they did tell me that they are changing thier laundry sheets to say "the price is per item", so I guess that kind of makes me the Rosa Parks of hotel laundry, huh? I'm a trailblazer....a pioneer! Next time you're at a hotel and the laundry sheet says, "the price is per item"...please, think of me. :)
Well, I am going to get back to the club to see how Poland is during the first few acts.
Good Mood: I just saw a wonderful production of "Pippin" here in Toronto. The cast was terrific and the show was done in a slightly different way that I had been used to seeing it; but it worked and I liked it. The audience kinda sucked, it was a Wednesday matinee but still. I had fun, I sang along and gave them a standing ovation; I've done musical theater and I know what they go through and any performer deserves a great ovation. It was also cool because one of the performers was Mickey Dolenz. He was good, I think the part he played would normally require a singer with a deep register, but he did fine.
So anywho, it was a wonderful way to spend an afternoon....THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get to my hotel and I see something that put me in a shitty, bad and fucked up mood. Two days ago I sent some clothes to be laundered through the hotel. Now, I looked at the sheet that comes with it and it had prices on it. For example, shirts were $7.00. Now a logical person would assume that means $7.00 a load for shirts, which is kind of pricey, but it's a hotel and I understand. So I sent some t-shirts, socks and boxers to get cleaned. (yes ladies, I'm a boxer man) and added it all to be $14.00. I put that total on the bottom of the sheet and sent it out. I get it back yesterday and hang it up in my closet before I went out to dinner. Well, today I look at I noticed that the total I wrote was crossed out and I thought it said that the new total was "10.50", so I'm thinking 'great, cheaper than I figured'. But as I looked closer I realized it actually said "101.50"! ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR FUCKING LAUNDRY!!!! I am furious!!! Beyond pissed, fucking livid!!!!
I mean number one: Who in their right mind would pay $100 for laundry!? Seriously??? I could've done the whole thing at a laundry mat for like $4.00. I know you're asking, "Well, why didn't you???" I should've, I was just in a hurry and I didn't know where one was around here. But again, I thought it was only $14.00...which brings me to number two. They saw that I wrote $14 as the total, if they knew it was going to be almost $90 more...FUCKING CALL THE PERSON!! Don't just assume that I am willing to pay that much more. That's absolute bullshit.
I seriuously can't explain how utterly enfuriated I am right now.
I'm waiting to speak to the hotel manager, and I'm going to try to stay calm. I'll offer the $14 that I was going to pay, but I will not pay that bill. I'm sorry, I can't think of anyone who would pay that kind of price for laundry...LAUNDRY!!! Even if they're washing the clothes in the vagina of a porn star...well, actually I would pay $100 for that...but that's beside the point. You know, now that I think of it...I would NOT want my clothes washed in a porn star's vagina... Yeech. Sorry.
OK, I need to breath...in...out...in...out...in...out......Nope, still pissed.
Tomorrow I start my drive to Ottowa where I'll be for the next 3 days. I can assure you that I will do my laundry in the sink before I pay a bill like that. Oh, in case you're wondering what hotel would do something like that, I'm not going to mention it's name until after I talk to the manager. If he/she is cool and understanding about everything and doesn't charge me that price, I'll let it go and not mention the hotel. But if they say, "I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do". I will not only mention the name, I will buy a domain name that says "____(hotel name)____sucksmydick.com"! And don't think I won't do it; I have that kind of time.
OK, gonna get something to eat and head on over to Yuk-Yuks to try and grab a set tonight.
Wish me luck and send those positive vibes!
First and foremost, the shows have been fanstastical...that's right, I said 'fantastical'. The crowds are really great; high energy, smart and silly. I've just been having such a great time. The comics here are cool too. Although the shows are run differently from what I'm used to. Normally the show is built with a host, then a feature, then the headliner...and occassionally there's a guest spot before the feature. Well here, on Wednesday and Thursday, they had a host, then 7-8 guest spots, and then me. And each night, there are different comics doing both the guest spots and hosting. And then on Friday and Saturday, there is a host, then two 12-15 minute spots, and then me. So again, it's been a bit of an adjustment, but nothing I'd complain about. Actually, it's nice to see how things run up here. A little change is always good.
But last night I was greeted with a surprise, it seems my friend from LA, Dwayne Perkins is in town for a few days, and he did a guest spot on the late show. That was really cool. That's one of the things I love about comedy; that it's such a small community that even when you're out of the country, you can still run into friends. So we hung out today and got some authentic Canadian/Chinese food. It was good, but I think the dim sum made me shit sum.
So now I'm killing time in my room, it's really nasty outside. I think I'll watch a movie or something. Speaking of which, I saw The Prestige yesterday; really good movie. But after reading some things about the movie, I think I'm going to see it again. I definetely missed somethings, although I did catch on to the ending before the reveal. Still, great movie and great performances. And oh my God...Scarlett Johansson...be mine. Please????
OK, off to watch a movie. Later, ey!
Well, in case you haven't noticed, I got new headshots and I've put a bunch of pictures from my shoot up all over the site. What do you guys think? Personally, I like'em for the most part, but I swear, I didn't realize how old I am looking until I saw myself in high quality, color pictures. I mean the hair, the wrinkles, the pudge...damn Flip...seriously, damn! Thank God I'm still cute and funny...and modest. Heh...
Did a spot tonight; went well. I think I finally got the "Garden of Eden" joke down...only took a year or so. You can actually look back on my blog from a year ago and see where I was first talking about that joke. That's how it works sometimes; a comedian will think of a great idea and try it a few times, and if it doesn't work, they just drop it for awhile. Then, in time, they'll look through their notes and say, "You know, that was a great joke. I bet I can make that work now." And low and behold, they do. So, I'll be trying that this week in Toronto.
Trying to think if there's anything else that I wanted to talk about...uh...nope. OH, I royally fucked up. I thought that Comedy Central was re-running my episode of "Live At Gotham" tomorrow at midnight and 3:00 AM...but then again, I did put the date as Oct. 17...so technically I guess I was right. Even though I thought it was the midnight and 3:00 am after the 17th. You know what I just did? I just admitted that even though I didn't fuck anything up...I still am stupid. Forget it, I'm just tired. Yeah...that's it, tired.
Alright kiddies, hope you guys are smiling and I'm sending you plenty of good vibes...and feel free to send'em on back to me. Night.
I'm sure it has a little something to do with work. Right now I've got a few gigs booked, but after that, nothing. That tends to stress me out. It's so funny, these past few months I've been working non-stop and making some nice money, and now that it gets slow I start to freak out. By the way, when I say "funny", I don't mean "ha-ha" funny, I'm thinking more "I'm worried but it sounds better to say funny" funny. Anyway, this kind of thing happens to me a lot and everything always works itself out, but I always stress out. God, some poor woman is going to end up with this neurotic man...line up ladies, there's no waiting.
I guess that's another thing on my mind: women. But, for a change, this isn't a rant about how I don't have a girlfriend, on the contrary, I'm actually glad I don't right now. See, I've come to some realizations recently, and I realized that I am no good for anyone right now. I have got some serious shit I need to work out. And I know that pretty much everyone has those, so it's really not a big deal. I guess I'm a late bloomer when it comes to that realization. I think that's what's keeping me up right now. I know I've got a lot to deal with and it's a bit daunting.
I figured out what's inside of my head isn't the same as what's inside of my heart. And if those two aren't seeing eye to eye, then nothing that serious can happen. There needs to be a good line of communication between those guys; I mean they are in charge, right? If the brain says, "Hey, we shouldn't go there, it's not logical and we're not ready", but the heart says, "Oh, don't think so much. If it's what we want, then we should just go for it." And then the brain says, "no, it's not the right time." And the heart says, "stop being such a pussy and go for it." And then the brain does something really shitty, it starts to find small faults in the plan that really don't matter but it makes them seem bigger. And suddenly the heart says, "you know what, I can't talk to you when you're like this...I'll be in my office...SLAM!" And suddenly there's an episode of "Moonlighting" going on in your soul.
I know I'll come out of this emotional funk like I will come out of my work funk, it's just going to take time...and ain't that all we have brutha?
Tonight I am doing a show in Huntington Beach, I always like playing this room. It seems like it's going to suck, but everytime it surprises me with how great the crowds are. Of course now that I've said that, they're going to suck. Way to positive there Flip. Nah, should be fun. Although I'm not thrilled with going out feeling the way I do.
Man, I've got so much to do today and I'm just sitting her on my ass. I really wanted to get to the gym today, but I'm so tired and sick...fuck, that's just an excuse. Damn, I need to get myself motivated and up off my ass. OK, I'm going to go and so some important shit with my day.
OH...on a completely different note...LOST IS FUCKING AMAZING! Holy shit, I just watched last nights episode; damn if they didn't hook me again within the first 5 minutes...just like the advertisment said. God bless those writers, they're brilliant. OK, off to do something fun.