So what to report. Well, I'm not in as bad a funk I was a few days ago, but I'm still in a funky place. Emotions are so dizzying sometimes, aren't they? I guess that's what makes us human, but it still doesn't make it easy to cope with. I mean I've been through these emotions before (which is pretty sad) but even though they're so familiar, it still affects me the same way each time.

And on top of that, my back is killing me.

My God, I'm really talking like an old Jew, aren't I?

"Oy, my back is killing me...and I feel so yicky...I need me a nice pastrami on rye. I just need to nosh a bit."

Anywho...I'm looking online for tickets to see Ben Folds in LA. I really love this guy. Been a fan for a long time. Just thinking of anyone I know who likes him too; I don't want to go alone. That can be a bit depressing. Then again, maybe going alone could be good for me.

Actually, I think I'm going to go see a movie now by myself. That I like doing; going to a movie by myself.

Ok, I'm going to a movie, I'll give you a review tomorrow....or whenever I write my next blog. Later.

10/25/08
I am in a real funk right now people. Level 10 shit, so no details; sorry. Let's just say that I'm really confused about a lot of things...YET, I think out of this confusion I'm coming to realize a lot things about myself and my life.

I just hate going through the process of getting over certain things.

OK, enough of that.

Well less than a week and I'm off on the road again; this time to Houston for a quick college showcase then to Florida to see my family and to do a show at a college. I'm looking forward to seeing my family again; always a treat.

Don't ever take your family (and friends) for granted. I know some people who do, or some people who don't have a good family life, and it just makes me appreciate mine even more.

Actually, for those who have my new DVD, if you go to the bonus footage page on the first DVD (the stand up one) and listen all the way through the menu, you'll hear something cool that I did with my parents....let me explain, that sounded kinda weird.

When I was making the new DVD, I decided to record some audio of myself talking on each of the menu pages. And on the bonus footage page, I ended up calling my parents.

A little clearer? Good. :)

I've been lying in bed for over an hour now; I really hated waking up today. That's sad isn't it? I'd rather be dreaming than face reality. Oy vey...

And I had a weird dream last night too. I dreamt I was doing a play (it might've been in college) and I was a knight of some kind, but I had no idea what my lines were, I wasn't in costume, and I missed all of my cues. I remember that I was trying to find my costume while the show was going on.

I wonder what that means. When, in your dream, you are not prepared. Hm...let me look that up.

OK, so I'm looking up dream interpretations and this is what I found so far:

• KNIGHT: (as in what I was supposed to be in the play) "To see a knight in your dream, signifies protection and security. The knight can be seen as a savior or someone who sweeps you off your feet, as in the 'knight in shining armor'."

OK, so maybe I need to protect myself from something? Or I'm trying to protect myself. I could see that...

I just told that to my roommate and he suggested that maybe I'm always trying to be a savior; that maybe I can't save people all of the time. Interesting....

• NOT BEING PREPARED: OK, I found an interpretation of dreaming that you're not prepared for an exam, but I'm sure it's relatable. "To dream that you are taking an exam, indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinized in some way. Such dreams highlight your feelings of being anxious and agitated. You may find that you cannot answer any of the questions on the test or that the test is in some foreign language. Is time running out and you find that you can not complete the exam in the allowed time? Or are you late to the exam? Does your pencil keep breaking during the exam? Such factors contribute to you failing this test. These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough. You feel nervous, insecure and tend to believe the worst about yourself.

  These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge. Rarely, are these dreams about the content of the test, but rather the process and how you are feeling during the exam taking process. Generally, you feel distressed and frustrated. These feelings may parallel how you are feeling in a particular challenge or situation in your waking like.

  Dreams of this nature are also an indication that you are being judged and this dream is a signal for you to examine an aspect of yourself that you may have been neglecting and need to pay attention to. You may harbor some guilt because of your neglect in preparation for a school exam, meeting, business project, or some challenge. Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down."

Interesting....

Well, it wasn't a test but a lot of that makes sense based on certain things in my life. Man, you guys are really getting a glimpse into my psyche, aren'tcha?

Still, all of this may just be a dream. Nothing more. I might just be trying to find meaning in a weird dream.

I really need to get my ass outta bed now.

I'm sure there is a lot more that I need to figure out...I'm sure of it.

OK, I've blathered and babbled and bubbled and bathed and barked and bru-haha-ed enough. Damn, that's a lot of "B's" there.

10/21/08
Wow, was that a huge gap in blogging. Sorry 'bout that my friends, been happily busy lately.

I was in Vegas for almost 2 weeks working and writing for Terry Fator...well, I wasn't working with Terry Fator, I was working at the Vegas Improv. But after that I wrote for Terry...whatever. Either way, it was a blast.

I actually played some high stakes blackjack; $25 a hand. I know for some of you that may not be anything special, but for a cautious better like myself, it was pretty ballsy. All in all, I think I left Vegas down $100...which isn't bad at all.

What else...

Oh, well Skippy is going up a lot. I'm telling you, I have this feeling in my gut that Skippy will be that one thing that gets me to the next level. I swear, I can almost taste it. I know, I know...can I sound any more cliche?

"I tells ya fellas, I can taste it! I can taste it! There's gold in them there hills!!!"

But I really have this...the only way to explain it is just this: I know I'll be successful. There isn't any more doubt, it's all certain to me. It's just a matter of when and how at this point.

I remember reading an interview with Kirk Cobain where he said that he knew Nirvana was going to be huge; he just didn't have a doubt. And I remember reading that thinking that was kind of an egotistical thing to say. But now I understand what he was saying. I think when you're a performer and you've been doing it long enough and you've seen the reactions you get from people...I think you hit a mental and emotional point when you say, "Holy shit, I'm really good at this." And some people stop there; content with being good. But there are others who know that they want to be more than good; they want to be the best. And the secret is...no one is the best. There's always room for improvement. And when you understand that, accept that and embrace that, THAT'S when you KNOW that you're going to be hugely successful. Simply put; there's no turning back.

That was a bit long-winded and to be honest, I got a phone call right when I was about to start so I was thrown a little off of my original train of thought, but I still think I made a good point.

And by the way, none of this goes back to ego. There is a sense of confidence, but not ego. As sure as I am of my success, I also know not to take it for granted. I am grateful to everyone who emails me to say that they enjoyed my show, to everyone who buys a DVD or CD, or to anyone who just wants to chat for a minute after the show. I truly appreciate every little thing that comes to me through comedy.

OK, enough of this self-congratulatory dribble...

On a completely different (and geeky) note, I bought myself an iphone. That's right, I've succumb to the pressure of everyone in LA. The beauty part is that I didn't have to switch to AT&T...I got myself an unlocked phone. Aw yeah!

OK, what else...I'm planning on posting some new pics very soon from Finland and Vegas. Oh, and if you want to read a nice review of my new DVD, Getting Them on The Chain, read away: DVD Review.

Well my friends, I'm off to do a little writing and then I'm going to the Improv to see my buddy Pablo do a show. Paaaaarty!

10/8/08
I'm writing you from backstage at the Harrahs Improv in Vegas. I'm having fun cause I'm working with my friend Maryellen Hooper. But there is something a little weird about it...

And let me preface this by saying that this is NOT an ego thing.

But this week I am hosting the show. Basically I go out first, do about 5 minutes, bring up the next guy, he does 20, then I go back out and do 10 more minutes, and then Maryellen does 35 and that's the show. It's a short, solid show. But the fact that I'm coming off of my own headlining tour of Finland where I did 11 shows doing an hour each...and now doing (collectively) 15 minutes; it's just weird. But again, not weird in an ego way like, "I should be past this! I'm a fucking headliner not an opener!"

I honestly don't mind opening now and then (especially at a club like this where I just want to get in the door) but to go from one extreme to the other is just weird.

But hosting is really the hardest part of doing comedy. I go out there in front of a cold crowd and I have to warm them up; that is my job.

So far I've had 4 shows. The second show was my best so far. Tonight the crowds were small and a bit on the lower energy for me. But every show I learn something. The day I stop learning anything about myself or about comedy is the day I quit. Because if I ever felt that happened, then I would've reached the end of my growth as a comedian, and that would suck.

The plus side is that I have a lot of new bits that I am working out this week. Some are brand new and some are older bits that suddenly have life in them again. I'm really excited about that.

Well Maryellen is almost done and that means I have to wrap'er up and try to whore my merchandise. Oh, that's another thing, all 3 of us are selling this week and that creates awkwardness when people are leaving.

Incidentally, if there is anyone reading this that feels awkward to buy one comedian's merchandise and not the others; don't. I'd rather you buy someone else's and be happy, then leave thinking, "I really wanted that other guys CD, but I didn't want to make that Flip guy feel bad." Cause then you blame me for your frustration, you tell other people how I "made" you feel uncomfortable. They tell more folks and before you know it there's a crazy mob of people coming to string me up by my Jew toes.

....Jew toes?

10/4/08
So I just had myself a little bit of a mindfuck.

I have a lot of home movies that I've digitized and occassionally I'll watch them. Tonight was one of those occassional times and I have to say it just really took me off guard. It was basically old videos of me fucking around with some friends (of which I'm still friends with). And one of the videos was from May 3, 1999.

I was talking to the camera saying things like, "Flip, you're 24 now and you're living at home, but you're a comedian and you're starting to make some money..." and it just threw me. This was over 9 years ago and it just made me take stock in my life.

EGO MOMENT AHEAD....

I'm really fucking proud of myself. I'm proud of what I've done with my life both personally and professionally. I'm proud of the way I look now (back then I was a bit chucky; not fat, but not in shape). But mostly, I'm proud of the person I've become.

Sure, I have my faults (as all of you do) but the person that I am right now is someone that I can be proud to look in the mirror and see.

Time is such a fucking weird thing; a double-edged sword. Sometimes I think, "slow the fuck down; let me catch my breath" and other times I'm thinking, "Wow, this is a great ride, I can't wait to see what happens next." And when I can literally see me in the past; see myself in living color and hear what I was thinking...it just blows my mind.

I hope you guys save all of your home movies and as many pictures as you have. It's really the time-line of your life that you can always refer to. Hell, even this blog is like that for me.

Incidentally, HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY FLIP'S BLOG! I just realized that it was Sept. 2004 when I started this.

OK, I'm off to the Improv; haven't been there since I got back from Finland. Hope you guys are smiling and keep those memories alive.

10/3/08
Hey there kids, just dropping a quick blog to say hello.

I'm back in my apartment and my body is still adjusting to the time difference. I really thought that I wouldn't have this problem again because when I flew back I slept most of the way so when I woke up, I felt like I was right. You know, like my body was adjusted. But alas, I was still up at 4 am the next morning.

These last few days I've slept longer but still not comfortably. One day soon I'll pass out for a good 9 hours and be back on track.

Anyway, I'm off to go and do some writing, but again I just wanted to thank everyone in Finland for their support of my first (of hopefully many) tours over there...and the rest of Scandinavia. That's right sweden and Norway...I think I'll be back soon!

Oh, and in case you didn't know already, my new dvd, "Getting Them On The Chain" is now available for sale! Go get one. And all of my CDs are now available on iTunes!

That's right people, Flip has gone evenier nerdier! :)

Later.