9/30/05
Day #3 and I'm down more, well I didn't play cards today, but yesterday I did...and boy did I take it in the shoe. I think there should be a rule that if you lose more than three times in a row at the same table, you are allowed to beat the shit out of the dealer. That would be so relaxing and just a good way to get out your frustrations. Like the dealer goes, "Oh look, I got blackjack" - "Yeah, well now you get black eye fucker!" The shows have been very weak, mostly due to smaller crowds. Last night my set was good, for whatever reason I had them, tonight however, nope! And the WORSE week I've had for merchandise...EVER! I have not sold one fucking thing! Not one! I guess when the crowds are small and you're in a town where you lose your money a lot more than make it, asking people to shell out $10 for a CD is asking a lot, but still....not one!? That hurts. I went out for a drink with one of the other comics and I bought a young lady a drink. She said, "Oh thank you..." and just walked away, back her table of friends. Look, I'm not looking for a handjob under the table or anything, but maybe something like, "Oh, thanks. What's your name? I'm Tina...(to her friends)...Hey guys, this is Flip, he bought me a drink." Not even inviting me over the table or anything, just a bit of politness, that's not asking a lot, is it? Please ladies who read this, if I'm wrong tell me. But personally, I think she's a See You Next Tuesday. Well, I can't talk any longer or else this hotel will start charging me by the minute. It's 2005 and this fucking place doesn't have high speed, only dial up...what the fuck!? Hey Harrahs, did you hear about this new fangled thing call "technology"? Ooo, you should look into it. Night.

9/28/05
Well day #1 in Reno and I'm already down 40 bucks...woo hoo! The show tonight was alright, it's a very weird crowd here, casino crowd. I hear Vegas is great, and I saw a show at the Vegas Improv, it was pretty good. This crowd was small, older and bit...uh...not quite my crowd. Not really hip, you know? So I'm going to have to go to my old bag of jokes and pull'em out. You know, the "standard" comic jokes, not that my act is completely free of them normally, but I like to balance it out with my favorite kind of jokes, smart and clever. I'm gonna have to drop those now. The bottom line is I need to sell CDs and I need to make people laugh. The Skippy show last night was alright as well, a bigger crowd but they were quietier, I think they were offended. I think we're going to put up a sign that says, "This show is very dirty and not for the easily offended." Anyway, I'm tired, it's been a long day, and black jack is a fuck of a game. I was in a zone in Vegas, now I can't buy a fucking card. If you really want to see magic, don't go to Copperfield or Danny Gans, go the Harrahs Casino and watch a dealer pull an ace out of his ass. Anywho, I'm off, wish me luck tomorrow...both the show and the cards.

9/26/05
I know, I know, I haven't been up to date on this thing, I'm sorry. This week has been weird, I've either been busy or sick. Fucking allergies, hate'em, hate'em. Tonight was fun, I ended up doing two sets tonight and my friend and comic Erik came along. First was at Howl at the Moon at Universal City Walk, it was ok. Eirk ended up doing some time and he did well. I followed an "urban" comic who might've been funny, but (and I'm not sterotyping or anything) every other word was mother fucker and n**gger. Like I said, his jokes might've been funny, but I couldn't hear them over the other stuff. Needless to say it was a hard act to follow, and I was struggling for a good 5 minutes or so, then I got'em on the chain. I know enough not to try and match his energy right away, he has his own style and I have mine. And I maybe energetic too, but a different kind of energy. So I go up there knowing I'm going to eat it for a bit and then get'em back on my terms. Anyway, there was another comedy show going on literally next door to Howl. I walk in there and the booker knows who I am (very cool) and I ask if I can go on and he puts me on next. Now over there I killed. Right away I just went up with energy and had'em, it was great. Some new bits are really starting to work well, that rant that I went on about that girl last month, I turned that situation into a really funny bit. And I've got something new that I'm working on, it's got potential, so we'll see. So now I'm just getting ready for the second Skippy show tomorrow night. Please god let there be people there...plllllease. I did Skippy the other night at this little theater (that was also the night of 1,000 allergies). I actually had an edited version of the intro video I use in the big show shown before I went up, that really helped. It's so much easier to "get" the character with that video. And then I did about 25 as Skippy and pretty much killed, it was great. See that's what's frustrating, the character, hell, the whole damn Skippy package is great and the show is ready, but I just can't "the right" people to see it. That's what's killing me. It's not like I'm bitching because the show isn't ready or it's not funny or people aren't laughing...they are, everything with the show is there! I'm trying so hard to be positive, but this town can get you, you know? No Flip, no...think positive. Everything is going to work out beyond any of my dreams, right? Right. Wow, I feel like this is that scene from Peter Pan: "Hey boys and girls, if you want Flip to succeed, let me hear you clap...come on, clap boys and girls. I can't hear you! Clap! Harder! Harder!"...are you guys really clapping? If so, thank you. For those of you who didn't, well you're evil, so fuck off. But you can make it up to me...how you ask?...COME TO THE SHOW! Alright, I'm done begging, it's all in your hands now. Night.

9/20/05
I'm in bed, a bit buzzed and it's 2:10 AM...what does that tell you? It should tell you that I'm way too open to be writing in this thing, but screw it, I've already started. It should also tell you that any spelling/grammatical errors that may occur are excused. Well the Skippy show "officially" opened tonight with a very, very small crowd, but it was still good. For the limited people there, they seemed to have fun and Kyle and I did too. That's the one good thing about this show, it's fun...filthy and offensive, but fun. Yet, I'm depressed. It's quite the paradox: I have a very funny, well received show, yet no one is seeing it. I know, I know, it's only the first show (not counting our preview last week...with a much bigger crowd), but I still can't help but feel down. I was having a talk with Dave, a comic, at the Improv, and I was telling him one of my biggest fears. Now I've mentioned it in this blog before but I'm going to mention it again; I fear that I will be that comic who never makes it despite everyone saying, "Wow he's so talented and funny." I'm going to be the guy who comics wonder why never made it. That all this work is for nothing. I mean when you think about it, there's no guarantee in this business, it's not like doing this show and my other show will definetely bring me success and comfort. It's a fucking crap shoot, and so far, it's snake eyes. God, please let this be all worth it. I mean seriously, what if I work my ass off for another 10 years and not get anywhere? What then? Do I just give up? Do I just say, "Well, I gave it a good 25 years, I guess I'll have to go to the 'real' world and get a 'real' job and have a 'real' life." It's scary. I'm fucking scared people. What makes me more special than the hundreds of other comics out here striving for the same thing? I've been at it for almost 13 years. And look, I know that I'm a bit of a hypocrite, if you read some of my other blogs, I've been very positive about my life and career in the past, so this whole rant is a bit absurd. Then again, I'm buzzed and I'm tired, so give me my depression, ok? OK. I know that there is no specific time for comic/actors to "hit it big", I know that. Some get it early in life, others get it later. Now some may look at me and my age and say, "Hey, you're young yet, you've got time." Or even, "Well, you look a lot younger than what you are, so that's good, you've got time." Like I said, I've been doing this for almost 13 years, I feel like I've given my time to this, I want some damn payoff already! What does a guy need to do to get some stability!? Oh, on top of that, I forgot to tell you that a few days ago my car got all fucked up and it cost me $800 to fix it! Yeah! Luckily, I made almost exactly that last week with Jamie Kennedy in Brea, so there ya go. So now that I think about it, that was a good story, so forget I mentioned it. Wow, what a manic/crazy/over-emotional douchebag am I. And you know what's sad? Some poor woman is going to end up with me...sorry. You know, when I was a kid, I always wondered if I could see my future, would I want to know it. And my answer was always "no". If I saw my future and it said that I was going to be a successful comic/actor, I would be too paranoid about every choice I made. I'd wonder, "Shit, should I do this? If I do, what if it's the wrong decision and that fucks up my future of being a successful comic/actor. What if it's the wrong choice?" I just figured I'd go along and do what I think is right and hope it works out. I guess that's what I'm doing now, but so far, things aren't working out exactly as I'd hoped they would. Like I said, just a bit of success, something huge, that would make me feel good about the decisions I've made so far. OK, I've rambled and my sleep is calling me. Night.

9/19/05
I'm really slacking off on this thing, sorry. Sometimes I'm in a mood to write sometimes I'm not, this is one of those "not" times. so, in fact, I'm forcing myself to do this now. Why? Seriously, why? I guess there are a few of you out there who actually read this, so I guess I'm doing this for you. Ain't I the sweet one. Well, Skippy officially opens tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit nervous. First of all, Lenny and I cut a bit off the show to make it flow better. The problem is that Kyle is out of town and he's not getting back until tomorrow afternoon...soooo, he and I will have to meet a little before the show and get on the same page with the changes. I've also spent the better part of the weekend editing down the video. I shaved a minute off of it, I think it helped. My biggest fear is that we're not going to have anyone at the show. I've sent out like 200 evites and a I send postcards to industry-type people and have been hounding all of my friends to come out. I also hope some press show up, that would be great. I'm just feeling so good about the show, last Thursday was soooo fucking good. There's something about Skippy that people just like. This whole show, it's just been so much fun. I was talking to my friend Tina tonight, she did a one-person show and she was saying, "It was so hard and so draining." Her show was very personal and very emotional...my show, not so much. My show is complete insanity and absurdity. There is nothing emotional about it. I originally thought about doing one of those kind of shows, but I don'th have anything really tragic in my life. Nothing. So I said, "fuck it, I'll make it up." And originally I thought about giving some tragedy to Skippy. As a matter of fact, the first draft of the script had Skippy as an alcoholic and really hard up. But when I thought about it, the character and his identity is so ridiculous, that by actually trying to bring "realism" and tragedy to him, well that's just stupid...and not funny. So I decided that if I'm going to write a full show about a touring Catskill comic in outer space, fuck it, go all out with the insanity. And I did. "Wow Flip, what an interesting blog." Shut up! I did a spot at the Ramada tonight, it wasn't bad, a very small crowd that was appreciative...did I spell that right? I make so many spelling errors in this thing, I don't even pay attention to it anymore..except for that one. Anyway, before the show I was hanging out with some of the comics and these two really cute girls were there too. So one of them was going around to everyone and asking where they were from, and when she came to me, don't ask me why, I said (with an English accent) "London". And for the next 20 minutes, I was English. There was no reason for me to do it, it's not like I bet someone I could, I just felt like it. And this one girl was like, "Oh my god, I love your accent." American girls get so turned on by an accent. Sometimes I wish I was English, just for the pusswa I could get. It's like in the movie Love Actually, an English man decides he's going to America because American girls love the English accent. And he goes to Milwaukee or something and nails 4 hot girls because he's English. Now I know that's a bit far-fetched, but not too far from the truth. On the other hand, if I went to England, I doubt the English women would fall over themselves to listen to my bland, non-descript American accent. Wow, now that I think of it, I have no accent at all. Regionally speaking. I mean you can tell I'm American, but I'm not southern, I'm not from New York, or Boston, or Fargo, or "the valley" or....uh, I'm sure there are others. Whatever - the point is, my accent is very bland. Shit, I wonder if a guy from Mississippi goes to England, would the women find his "good ol' boy" dialect sexy? "Hi there, I'm Jesse." "Oh my god, you're lovely!" Anywho, I need to go to bed, got some more Skippy shit to do tomorrow. OH, and how come there hasn't been any activity on the boards lately? Post motherfuckers, post! Ta-ta love.

9/16/05
SKIPPY ROCKED!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, the preview show last night was great! It just all came together so well, I was thrilled. The night started badly, I was sooo late, I got there about 10 minutes before showtime. I was at home doing some last minute editing to the video, and everytime I burned the DVD, it was screwed up, so by the time I got it right, it was already 9:00 and showtime is 9:30. So I rush to the theater, and when I get there, I realized that I forgot the main wire that attaches from the DVD player to the projector. So now I'm freaking out, thank God for Lenny, he calmed me down. And thank God for the Improv being right next door, they had the wire I needed, so everything worked out. We let the people in, the show started and it was really something. Kyle was terrific, our banter was just so good, that's what the people said was one of the best parts of the show. He really brought so much to this character. Anyway, we're going to cut a bit off of the show, last night it came in at just under an hour, I want it to be 45 minutes. There are a couple of stories that I think we can cut from my part and a little from the video. It sucks because I love everything in the show, but it's all about sacrifices, right? So now I'm just sitting in my apartment and burning some DVDs for tonight's shows with Jamie in Brea. I can't wait until the new CDs and DVDs come in, they are going to look fantastic. I want to put up some of the pics, but I don't want to give anything away...they're that good. Usually I would leave early too, especially on a weekday, but I need to wait here another 2 hours or so for these disks to finish. Anywho, I'm just really relieved the show has come together, and it will only get better with every show. Now, the only problem is getting people there. So if you're in town, come on by baby! We need'ja in the theater, tell your friends...what are you waiting for, seriously. Come on bitches! Sorry...got excited.

9/13/05
Two more days until the Skippy show has it's preview, and I can honestly say that I'm getting pretty fucking nervous...yet excited. I can't wait until the show, yet I'm scared to death. I just don't know if it's funny anymore, I've been working on it for so long. Today there was actually a bit of a fuck up. My buddy who's been editing it had trouble with his computer, it kept jumping and freezing. So Lenny and I were just sitting there, and we're all pissed because there was still a few things to tweak up on the video. Well luckily Lance (the editor) had made a DVD of everything we had done so far, and it had all of the video laid down, the only stuff missing from it were some sound cues and little volume tweaking. Well, I suggested that I take the DVD home and just finish editing it myself. I mean there wasn't that much more to do and I know I could do it. So that's what I did for about 6 hours today, edited, and I am proud to say that it's all done. Again, there wasn't much more for me to do, Lance did a great job. So now Lenny will check it out and hopefully he'll agree with me and BAM!, the show is ready to go baby! Again, I just hope that it's funny. Well, I'm kinda sick (allergies) so I'm going to pass out now. I fucking hate allergies. Why do some people have them and others don't? I'm sure there's a medical reason, but I'm too lazy to look it up. If anyone knows, email me, I'd appreciate it.

9/11/05
Did you ever do something so spontaneous that even you don't know what came over you? Well, I did one of those things this weekend. Friday night I had a spot at the Improv and afterward I was talking to some friends of mine from the east coast who was in Vegas. I was considering going to meet them there, but decided not to. Well, after my set I just said to myself, "What the fuck? I only live 4 hours away and I have nothing to do this weekend, why not?" So I hoped in my car and drove to vegas. It was a blast AND I made some money! Well, I lost some too, I actually came home exactly even from when I left. I always say I don't go to Vegas to make money, just to have fun. So to come back even is a great thing. I only played Black Jack, still a bit wary of playing poker in the casinos, I'm still doing the online stuff and some games with friends out here. Anyway, I'm tired and I've gotta get up tomorrow for a bunch of Skippy stuff. We have our preview this Thursday, if you're in town, come to the Second City Theater and support. It's free for that night, although we are taking donations to the Red Cross. So come and give. Anyway, I'm off to dream of Vegas hookers.

Never Forget

9/7/05
OK, I don't get it, was Showgirls supposed to be a comedy or a serious film or a soft core porn, what? I"m watching it now (I was bored) and I can't figure it out. Where the movie is supposed to be serious, I'm laughing my ass off, where it's supposed to be funny...I'm waiting for the joke. Some of the lines, I mean come the fuck on, "I must be weird to not have guys cum on your tits." That's an actual line...or a skewed up version. I think I watch this movie because it gives me confidence in my acting talent and career. I don't know what Elizabeth Berkley was thinking, "Hey, I was Jesse Spano for 5 years on a teen sitcom where we tackled such issues as 'how to tell Zach that Slater took out Kelly'...I bet I can play a hard-ass stripper/lesbian/dancer who fucks men and women and shows my tits and crotch to everyone. Sign me up!" Good call Liz...good call. I actually saw Gina Gershon at the Improv one night, she looked amazing. I was so tempted to walk up to her and say, "Hey darlin'...you look great." Anyway, I'm exhausted, I've been working on the Skippy show, the video is just about done, but I can't tell if it's funny anymore. I sure as hell hope it is. It feels like it is, but I still don't know...Dear God this movie sucks! I'm sorry, I'm watching a "dancing" scene, and she (Elizabeth) is a helluva lap dancer, but shit, shit, shit of an actress. Then again, this script is shit too, so I guess she didn't have much to work with. When I say 'much', I mean 'nothing'. Anyway, the show opens in less than 2 weeks now, it's the home stretch people. I've got a rehersal with Kyle tomorrow night, we're squeezing this in while he's in town for a day. The live show is the only part of the show I'm still iffy about. We'll see. OK, I'm off, wish me luck. Actually, wish Elizabeth Berkley luck...she's gonna need it.

9/5/05
Holy god do I feel awful right now, not emotionally, just sick. My sleeping schedule has been off for the last couple of days. I went to a party on Saturday (at the house of a celebrity no less...oh Jesus, am I becoming that kind of person?) and I didn't get in until 5 am. There has been absolutely nothing going on really. Although the new design for the DVD and CD are all done and I must say, they look fan-fucking-tastic! And huge thanks to Adam for doing such an amazing job. If anyone needs any kind of graphic design work done, let me know and I'll send you to him. Wait until you guys see it! The Skippy show is almost here, I can't believe it, we open in 2 weeks, with a preview show in a little over a week. There's still a lot to get done, but we're close. I was looking at the video today and it's just about there. My friend Lance is doing the editing, and he's doing a great job, but when I do my next video project, I am doing it all myself. After doing Flippin'... and handling all of the videos and now doing this and not editing them at all, I realized that I'm just a perfectionist freak who needs to be doing everything. It's just frustrating to think that I could've been working on it here as opposed to going to his studio, seeing what he did, having him change it while I wait, etc. Wow, isn't this the most exciting blog you've ever read. Hey, I'm sick and tired, so gimme a bit'o leeway, k? A buddy of mine from NY, Craig Gass is going to be crashing here for a few days starting tomorrow. Should be fun, and I've got a friend coming in from Florida at the beginning of Oct. who'll be here for a week, I'm soo looking forward to that. I've been missing my friends and family from Florida lately, I'm thinking I might go home for Thanksgiving this year, I haven't been down for it in a few years now. Well, a happy Labor Day to all and to all a good night.

9/2/05
I had a shitty yet wonderful experience tonight. I did a spot at the Friars Club, I walk in and guess who's there? Guess? Sid Ceaser and Red Buttons! And you better know who those guys are, they are legends in the world of comedy...hell, the world of show biz. I go up and introduce myself (I had met them both a few years ago at the Milton Berle Tribute show) and they were very nice. Red Buttons talked to a few of us before the show and was so fucking cool. So anyway, they stuck around for the show, I went up second. To say that I was nervous was an understatement, I mean these are legends...LEGENDS...and I'm performing at the Friars Club and they're watching. So I get up there and...eat shit! I bombed completely. I knew I was due for a shitty show, it's the law of averages, but to dumb a turd at that show, that just wasn't fair, you know? I could give all of the excuses in the world, I mean the crowd was a bit tight, but I can't put 100% of the blame on them...maybe just 25%. Either way, I was really bumbed about that. After the show Red said some nice things, but I could tell he was just being nice. I know I shouldn't be so down on myself, I mean there's a lot going on right now with me and it's very exciting, but when the hell would I have an opporitunity like this again? Who knows? Well, it's late and I'm very overtired. I'm going to crash now and replay that show over and over again. Yes, I'm that neurotic.